What this blog is about.

Here I am; A woman with a college degree in Adventure Recreation, 16 years of ski teaching behind me, over a dozen countries visited, multiple summers spent living in a tent, countless hours teaching nature education to children and adults,  many trails hiked, several hot springs soaked in,  and frozen waterfalls climbed. Here I am with a toddler and a new born and wondering "What in the hell am I doing?"  I often feel at a complete loss on what to do with my spare time with my babies. 

 I have been asking myself if I am turning into the type of mother I thought I never would be.  Watching more Disney then going exploring and staying in the safe limits of our fenced yard is not what I expected to be doing.  I pictured myself as a mom hauling my kids up mountains, strolling on the trails, watching bugs with magnifying glasses, and singing silly camp songs. Just like my mom and dad did with me.  I was shocked at myself last week when I  had some spare time, and instead of a jaunt in nature I took my toddler to MacDonald's for a happy meal and play time on a plastic , germ infested play land! 

Why is loading up a diaper bag, a lunch, changes of clothes, jackets, bug spray, sunscreen, bottles, a breast pump, a baby sling, a stroller, a backpack carrier, car seats, burp rags, and blankets such a challenge?  One needs more gear than that to go ice climbing.   I am overwhelmed with "getting out there."  And as I am writing right now I am laughing at myself at how silly I have been.  Yes, my oldest is in his "terrible two's" and I just gave birth via c-section 2 months ago.. but come on Shawnee you have done tougher things then this...haven't you?  I suppose it's not just loading up all the gear and being responsable for it but what do you do with the crying baby and climbing toddler while all the prep is going on and how much time is it going to take?

I have been having a bit of the blues lately and I think it is due to not being my outdoorsy self. Not being authentic to my life goals and path is really what it is about. Over the past three years my sense of adventure has dwindled down to a very low level. I haven't given up completely and I should be proud of myself for doing the basic things I love.   I have been teaching skiing in the winters, in fact, I skied two seasons up into my 8th month of pregnancy.  I took my first born camping a few times and to music festivals and on trips on the airplane. And on many outdoor day trips in our area. But now with two children I feel like the effort is not worth the reward, although I KNOW that this is not true. My lack of energy makes it feel that way.  So I need to make some big changes in my current state of mind and get back on track with the things that I truly value.

My challenge to myself is to find new ways to explore the great outdoors in the most  energy efficient and sustainable ways as well as the most baby and mama friendly ways as possible.  I need to celebrate the little victories of crossing the street to the park as well as the big ones like taking a family camping trip. 

So I decided to start a blog about this journey.  I hope those who read this will help keep me accountable in my goal of sharing my passion with nature with my own children and not just the children and adults that I see in my outdoor education job. Also, I hope to inspire you and others to do the same with your children. I will post what I discover works well to get a temper tantrum throwing toddler to transform into a nature loving explorer. Now that is  going to be a true adventure.

Much Love, Shawnee