Bring down the walls.

Yesterday, my kids babysitter, reminded me of a very wise idea.  "If the children are climbing the walls, take away the walls!"  Brilliant. I love it.  I am very thankful for that little phrase. I will hold onto it in my mind and remember to live by it this summer.

I wanted to list some things that I have learned about making it easier to get my children, namely my toddler, out on a short trip into nature.

• Have an  "outdoor explorer" bag ready. If my child suggests to go on a hike or he is in a pleasant mood, I may just loose my window of opportunity while I gather what is needed.  I have learned that you need a lot less stuff then you think. Also keep an "outdoor explorer" bag in your car, if you are driving around on errands and you see a great place to explore you will be ready.  For just a short outdoor adventure nearby, all you need is.
• one diaper and a couple of wipes. (or TP if toddler is potty trained)
• a few band aids.
• tissues.
• a water bottle.
• sunscreen/bug dope.
• a snack (a must-a toddler with low blood sugar is worse then a pillowcase of feral cats.)
• sunhat/or beanie depending on the weather.
• a magnifying glass to look at little treasures is a nice extra to have.
• Have a list of  nearby places to explore written down.  When it is time to hit the trail you don't want Mommy brain to set in and the only place you can remember how to get to is McDonald's or Walmart.
• Who cares if your kid gets dirty.  My child has a few "nice" outfits that I don't want ruined but for the most part he doesn't get into much that my washing machine can't get out.  I also have been known to strip him down to just a diaper.  He can wade, puddle jump, or paint with mud and I don't have to worry. Then I can just hose him off in the kiddie pool when we get home.
• An outdoor buddy. It is a good idea to have a friend to come a long with you every once in a while. Also if you have an outdoor play date set up or even a friend with out children that will be joining you it is a lot harder to back out. 
• Be curious yourself.  Remember your toddler is experiencing the world for the first time and he may notice something you have been walking by.  Get excited with him when he makes new discoveries or learns a new word or concept.

This Way

As I have written before, I am concerned that I am failing my toddler, S, by not getting him in the outdoors enough.  This afternoon, after I returned from work and he woke up from a nap, he requested to watch Lion King. He is so cute when he asks at first. With his sweet smile and bright eyes , he politely says " Watch King, please." I so want to say yes, but it would be at least the 9th time he has seen it this week and it is only Wednesday. I suggest we play outside or go to the park. The screaming begins. "NO WAY." He jumps to the far end of the sofa and covers himself with a pillow and shouts, "King!" Again  I brightly suggest we go in the car, he loves to "Go, car." But that suggestion brings on the hitting.

Ugh my sweet child! We have started using a time out chair for the first time today. The hitting has gotten out of hand, I have to physically hold him down on the chair and repeat what the doctor said yesterday. "No Hit. Time Out." She said that it has to be very clear to his developing mind why he is being punished,  no extra words or explanation. At this time she suggests he only go into time out for hurting others, this way he can learn that this is a very serious matter. His cute face twists into an expression I hate to see.  It is not my child.  Tears rolling down his face, lips curled up, eyes squinty, and a piercing scream.  After  two minutes of  this, his time out is up.  When I lift him up off the chair he wraps his arms around my neck, kisses me and says "Thank you Momma." Three minutes later he is back in the time out chair for throwing his sippy cup at my face. As I hold him on the chair and fight back my own tears, I think  "is getting out of the house really worth all of this?"

After two more time outs, a granola bar, a cup of milk, a cuddle, a lullaby, a diaper change, and a story; S is ready to go. His 2 month old brother, R, has been asleep this whole time. I have to quickly breast feed him and then we can load up the car.  I am so grateful that I live in an area where getting outdoors is simple.  In just a five minute drive we are at the paved river walk trail. That is a big enough adventure for us today. S waits patiently in his stroller by the side of the car as I load  R into the infant sling. With a shriek of delight and a point of a finger upward S calls out "Tree...Bird." A smile fills my heart. Yes!  I have not failed him.

As we begin our walk S greets his surroundings. "Hi, wah wah" is called to the river. "Hi, bird" is directed to a robin hopping around on the ground. And of course he says hello to every person or pet we see. He decides he wants to get out of his stroller and push it himself.  We walk at a toddler pace. Stopping to touch leaves and mushrooms.  Along the trail S climbs up on the park benches that look over the river he sits for a moment and looks contemplatively at the running water. He pops up quickly and continues along the trail with a shout of a new phrase, "this way." Oh what a happy phrase that is after  hearing "no way" all afternoon.

S runs up on a head and waits for R and I to catch up. He has a look of freedom and joy on his face as he runs down a small hill calling out "fun Momma!-this way."

Force of Nature

Today I said out loud to the living room ," This house looks like it was hit with a tornado." After the words left my mouth I instantly go a knot in my stomach.  The pictures of devastation that I had been seeing throughout the day came quickly into my mind. A portion of Oklahoma was literally turned upside down. Mommy's and Daddy's desperately trying to reach their children. Praying that the bravery of school teachers and strangers would bring their babies out of the ruble. I only had one of my senses involved in this mayhem, my sight.  But the people involved in the disaster must have been on sensory over load. The smell of melting plastic and the pains of smoke and dust burning their lungs. Can you imagine the way it feels to  have your sacred family albums crumbling in your hands?  Or hearing the walls, that separate you from the worlds daily chaos, just crashing down around you, on top of you?   The reality of those people loosing everything they had makes my complaint seem a bit ridicules.

I had cushions from two sofas thrown about the house, tiny piles of sandbox sand brought in from shoes on the burgundy carpet, cracker crumbs and some sort of sticky stuff on the coffee table, painting supplies on top of the TV, and other toddler and husband messes, but at least I had walls.  At least I knew where the little monster who created the upheaval was, at least I have a vacuum cleaner and Windex to clean up (or to not clean up.) My water taps work and I have chocolate ice cream in my freezer.

It is sad that someone else's tragedy bounces the rest of us back into a sense of gratitude and abundance.  I am praying for the people who are suffering today, as well as rejoicing for the crazy day to day journey that I am on.

I haven't made it out on a big outdoor adventure with my kids today. Taking them both to their well child/baby checkups was enough of living on the wild side for me.  Our quest started with me literally praying for a decent parking spot.  I knew that a trek across the asphalt wilderness while carrying a diaper bag and a purse in one hand, a 2 month old in a baby carrier in the other hand, and keeping my toddler out of traffic with my third, non-existent hand, might just kill me.  As I pulled into the parking lot, a beam of light shown from the heavens and  was directing me into the fourth parking space away from the door.  Hallelujah! Our pediatrician is the most amazing doc you could ask for but her office is located in a huge nationally ranked hospital and often one is better off taking the bus to appointments because at least you get dropped off closer to the door then when you have to park 3 foot ball fields away.

 I wont get into all the epic details, but I thought that having both children's appointment at the same time would make things easier.  No, not true. It wasn't easier but I think it was worth it. I feel like the doctor really got a nice look on how things actually go down in our family and she was able to give sound advice and encouragement.  Although my children are very, very young I feel that there was some brotherly bonding today.  Some empathy, as well as some humor was shared between the two of them. It was yet another lesson for me that the easiest way is not always the best.  But one can always be more efficient and save up that much needed momma energy. I am glad that I was smart enough to put their medical cards in the outside pocket of my purse, bring a snack for my toddler, have a coca-cola for me, have extra clothes for both children, and to write down questions I had for the pediatrician. Those things made it just a wee bit smoother.

Tonight, as my children sleep and I put the sofa cushions back, I say a little prayer of comfort to those who suffer in Oklahoma and a big prayer of gratitude for my messy home.

Tomorrow I have an outdoor activity planned.  Stay tuned.

May you too feel that your life is full of abundance, Shawnee

What this blog is about.

Here I am; A woman with a college degree in Adventure Recreation, 16 years of ski teaching behind me, over a dozen countries visited, multiple summers spent living in a tent, countless hours teaching nature education to children and adults,  many trails hiked, several hot springs soaked in,  and frozen waterfalls climbed. Here I am with a toddler and a new born and wondering "What in the hell am I doing?"  I often feel at a complete loss on what to do with my spare time with my babies. 

 I have been asking myself if I am turning into the type of mother I thought I never would be.  Watching more Disney then going exploring and staying in the safe limits of our fenced yard is not what I expected to be doing.  I pictured myself as a mom hauling my kids up mountains, strolling on the trails, watching bugs with magnifying glasses, and singing silly camp songs. Just like my mom and dad did with me.  I was shocked at myself last week when I  had some spare time, and instead of a jaunt in nature I took my toddler to MacDonald's for a happy meal and play time on a plastic , germ infested play land! 

Why is loading up a diaper bag, a lunch, changes of clothes, jackets, bug spray, sunscreen, bottles, a breast pump, a baby sling, a stroller, a backpack carrier, car seats, burp rags, and blankets such a challenge?  One needs more gear than that to go ice climbing.   I am overwhelmed with "getting out there."  And as I am writing right now I am laughing at myself at how silly I have been.  Yes, my oldest is in his "terrible two's" and I just gave birth via c-section 2 months ago.. but come on Shawnee you have done tougher things then this...haven't you?  I suppose it's not just loading up all the gear and being responsable for it but what do you do with the crying baby and climbing toddler while all the prep is going on and how much time is it going to take?

I have been having a bit of the blues lately and I think it is due to not being my outdoorsy self. Not being authentic to my life goals and path is really what it is about. Over the past three years my sense of adventure has dwindled down to a very low level. I haven't given up completely and I should be proud of myself for doing the basic things I love.   I have been teaching skiing in the winters, in fact, I skied two seasons up into my 8th month of pregnancy.  I took my first born camping a few times and to music festivals and on trips on the airplane. And on many outdoor day trips in our area. But now with two children I feel like the effort is not worth the reward, although I KNOW that this is not true. My lack of energy makes it feel that way.  So I need to make some big changes in my current state of mind and get back on track with the things that I truly value.

My challenge to myself is to find new ways to explore the great outdoors in the most  energy efficient and sustainable ways as well as the most baby and mama friendly ways as possible.  I need to celebrate the little victories of crossing the street to the park as well as the big ones like taking a family camping trip. 

So I decided to start a blog about this journey.  I hope those who read this will help keep me accountable in my goal of sharing my passion with nature with my own children and not just the children and adults that I see in my outdoor education job. Also, I hope to inspire you and others to do the same with your children. I will post what I discover works well to get a temper tantrum throwing toddler to transform into a nature loving explorer. Now that is  going to be a true adventure.

Much Love, Shawnee