Thanksgiving guest writer

I was a guest writer for a friends blog.  I would love it if you would check it out. http://thefamilypracticeblog.com/2013/11/thanksgiving-traditions-guest-post-by-treesandtoddlers/

Botanical

 

 

Most of my hobbies reside in the winter, earning me the titles of  Ice Princess and a Snow Queen, but today, as the heat dissipates and allows for more a comfortable outdoor existence,  I want to throw away those titles and become a Fairy of the Fall.  I am reminded of  Goldilocks and her porridge,  other seasons are either too cold or too hot, but autumn is oh so right.

 

I took my coffee this morning on the front porch, and watched my toddler play amongst the apples that had fallen on the ground from our tree.  It was warm enough, that when the steward of the park across the street came to test the sprinkler system Sage was able to help out by running through the series of sprays.  And it was cool enough, that when my little guy wanted to ride his scooter the metal did not scald him from sitting out in the sun.

 

This afternoon the boys and I went to the nearby botanical gardens and explored among the  flowers.  Sage loved running a long the little paths and smelling the blooms. It was a great time to practice the names of colors in both English and Spanish.  What I thought was going to be a half an hour activity turned into almost three hours.  I had patience and Sage had curiosity so we just let it all flow.  The weather has not been fiercely hot, like it has been all summer, and there is where I think the patience originated.  The heat makes me cranky like nothing else on earth. 

 

 

 

 

Often, our outings are about the needs of two year old, Sage.   He demands a lot of hands on attention and safety considerations. He has  linguistic and physical learning  mile stones happening every day. It is so exciting to see what he will say or do next.  He has developed his own tastes and desires and even a sense of humor.  I also am very impressed with his strength and coordination.    This toddler stage of life is so ego-centric that other family members needs are over looked to appease the screams and the abundant energy of Sage.  The baby often seems to be brought a long for the ride, and is just absorbing the love and fresh air that is surrounding him. Robin is almost six months old, and has such an easy going personality. Today, I really wanted to make something all about him. So, while Sage was jumping off of near by benches, and walking on a stone wall like a balance beam, I rested in the grass with Robin and helped him practice un-supported sitting.  I had to spread his legs a part and place his hands forward and he could hold the position for about 3 seconds until he slowly toppled over.  The inspiration of taking a cute photo of him amongst the flowers turned out to be the perfect location for learning to sit on his own. The dense flower beds seemed to hold him up.  Bolstered by flowers he could sit confidently for minutes at a time!  His excitement was reflected in big grins and giggles.  He is my little flower child.





 

 

 



As I look over these photos of Robin, I am brought to tears. What a thrill that he had his first moments of sitting independently amongst flowers. It is a bitter and sweet moment. He is my baby.  I will never have another one. Soon he will be like his brother, leaping off of benches and shouting for his own way. I will delight in this moment. Robin is well on his way to becoming a boy.

 

Today I am also grateful for the decisions  that were made to bring me to Ogden, Utah.  I would have NEVER chosen to live here.  But, there is beauty all around this city, outdoor recreation abounds, and there are endless wonders for children to explore.

 

 

A hot metephor

Those of you not from Utah may not know that it has been the hottest summer on record. More days with temps in the 100's and 90's then ever before. It has been so very hot, but not as miserable as last year, because last year was only the 2nd hottest summer on record but, I was pregnant and sick as a dog.  So on this Sunday the manna that fell from the sky came in liquid form. RAIN!! It cooled the black top, settled down the dust, put the flies in their place, made my hair curl, and brought much needed relief.

My little family was able to take advantage of the wonderful day by heading to the nearby trails once the rain stopped.  I walked with the baby on the front pack carrier and my husband and my toddler rode around on the mountain bike.  The mountain bike has a toddler seat mounted on the cross bar and gives the best view and rush of exhilaration to our adventurer of a son. On this particular day, he and his dad, would climb the hills in front of the baby and me and then they would turn around and zoom past us going down hill and do this over and over again.  All the while Sage and I would be shouting in a Marco- Polo type fashion.  How fun to all be connected by the sound of our voices being carried on the light breeze after the storm. 

  

The experience was a good metaphor for the past few weeks we had as a family. Dharma was diagnosed with melanoma. Like the heat of the summer it was uncomfortable to deal with, but we had to step into it and take it on full force.  He had surgery to remove a large section of skin on his inner thigh, and like the refreshing rain, we were relived that no more cancer remained.  We are thankful for the capable surgeon and for the answer to prayer. 

We will continue with our little family excursions, with more joy in our hearts, and more appreciation for each other after we have been through the heat.

Walk away

Today I did something that really scared me.   What heroic thing did I do? Well, I walked the opposite direction my son wanted to go. From a lady who has been bitten by a lion and holds live raptors for a living, how scary could walking away from a toddler be? TERRIFING!

  Within the first two minutes of our hike he wanted to go back to the car.  He stood on top of a large boulder and screamed a non-sense word at me over and over as I tried to encourage him to come with me down the trail. With every step I took towards him, he took two steps away. He wanted me to chase him, and he wanted to be the one in control. Normally, I fall into that because I am scared. I am petrified he will walk out into traffic, I am scared he will get lost, and I am worried that I wont have enough speed to catch up to him before he hurts himself.

I held my breath and prayed that my tactic with my renegade toddler would work.  I said the ageless words that all wise mothers and teachers of toddlers have used, "see you later, I am going this way." And I started walking with my back facing him, not looking over my shoulder. I was so frightened that he would dart away but in fact he fell for the trap, like most children do, and called to me almost instantly "I coming too." I made an audible exhale.  I kept walking and he kept shouting "coming, I coming."   The rest of the hike he hung close by and had so many questions about what he was seeing.

The rest of the walk he was so engaged and creative.  I was thrilled.  Imagination is just starting to show up in his day to day life, and when he found a stick and held it up in the air and said "I fireman" I just beamed.

He also was very intrigued by the few leaves that hag fallen off the trees.  He bent down and touched them all.  "Wow" and by the end of the walk he was using the word "leaf" like an expert. We also identified a few different species of animal by their scat.  On several other hikes I have shown him the plant that he was named after, he never seemed to care, but today he was proud to touch the three lobed leaves and shout his own name.

On our walk there were a lot of boulders that were fun to climb upon but also there was fuzzy lichen growing on most of them. He loved touching it and finding other rocks and shouting "More."

Another magical moment was when I asked him to walk quietly and we might see a deer. And he started to tip toe and say "shh quiet" in a sweet whisper and an actual deer jumped up and ran across the path!

The adventure is in the everyday

Supposedly it is the end of summer, and  I have been feeling down for not be as amazing of an outdoor mom as I wanted to be this season.  And so I started to think back about what I have done with my two boys, and although not every day was a wilderness adventure, everyday was an adventure in some way.

  I am proud of hauling my kids to farmers markets, music festivals, splash pads, county fairs, baseball games, amusement parks, little hiking trails, movies in the park, community picnics, train rides, river swimming holes, water parks, etc.

 A lot of these events I was flying solo due to my husband working nights and weekends.  I have come close to having a few nervous breakdowns but I feel like my toddler is making memories and my infant is being exposed to some good energy. I have gotten really good at knowing what to pack for the day and how to load the wagon and the beach umbrella in the car in the most efficient way.

I am impressed by my husband as  he also has been a hero in taking the kids fun places while I worked or rested. He even took our toddler to four sessions of summer camp at the Nature Center. Yah Dad

 

We also have had a lot of fun as a family when all four of us could participate.  My reflection of the summer has given my hope in what I will be able to accomplish in the future.  It is a lesson that major ordeals are not what create our lives but it is the what we create day to day that matters.

Good day to the Ogden Nature Center

I love my job at the Nature Center. I feel blessed beyond words to be doing what I love, to have truly the most amazing co-workers, to learn new skills, to occasionally bring my baby to work, and to have open access to a complete gem in an industrial part of a city!  Check it out www.ogdennaturecenter.org

My main job is to do outreach so I go out into the community and give presentations with animals and birds.  I am also the one who books and sets up reservations for when we do these programs.  I also get to help with summer camps and school field trips that visit the center. I have to tell you that when I was in High School that this is the kind of job I hoped that I would have one day. This and a Girl Scout camp counselor, a nature guide in Alaska, and a ski instructor. Pretty sweet that I have been able to do those things too.

I started at the ONC in October 2012 and I can honestly say I have not had one bad day at work. I have had some challenges but compared to some of my other  experiences on the job such as being charged by a mountain goat in rut, arranging for a life flight for a young girl in cardiac distress 7 miles from a road, being stepped on by a horse, or skiing with 10 eight year olds in 2 feet of snow, I have been able to handle the challenges at this job with grace. 

Today I helped out with summer camp and did a lesson about tarantulas, played field games, and did some insect netting.  Pretty fun for me and the campers.

The next coolest thing about my job is that my husband works 1/4 mile away! I know that is too hard to believe but it is true.  He works at a call center at the industrial park that is located right next to the ONC.  Today I ended work just as he started his day. So he dropped our children off at the Nature Center and I was able to go exploring with them. We had a wonderful time walking the shady trails, checking out the raptor birds, gazing at the water birds, and playing in the grass. 

It was a perfect afternoon.  A dream in fact. Both the kids were in high spirits. They got tired at the very end of our walk but hey we live just 10 minutes away so nap time was not too far off.

oh my the playland.

It has been in the low 100's in our town the past several days. Record breaking heat and a 3 month old and a two year old  really don't mix. I have discovered  that my car does not have AC vents in the back seats. And for a baby in a rear facing car seat that is miserably uncomfortable. Before we go anywhere I make sure to breast feed him extra long so he has fluids and I also place cool wet rags on his body.   I really don't want to put my baby through these hot temps yet my toddler is literally climbing the curtains and needs to get out of the house. What is a mother on a super tight budget and an outdoor agenda to do?


  I know I must sound like a complainer and almost in every paragraph I write there is a recurring theme of "it is difficult." Well so be it. Here is my theme again.  It is difficult to manage an infant and a rambunctious  toddler

My husband works nights and I work most days.  We take turns watching the kids and have a babysitter for the few hours our work schedules overlap.  That seems to work out pretty well except it is difficult to go out on activities with out having backup.

So what have I discovered?  McDonalds play land.  It is free.  It is fun.  It has AC.  There are other moms to talk to.  It gets me out of the house. And my son LOVES it.  The play land at our nearest McDonald has a musical instrument theme. It is awesome!  A giant rubber guitar to climb on and strum. A piano slide and some life size drums.  Also there are tall slides, climbing elements, rolling elements, a swinging saucer on a rope! Did I mention it is free and has AC. So this outdoor mom has gone against all things that she once thought were holy and has ZERO issues with spending two hours at the McDonald play land.

Outdoor Concerts and films.

Going to an outdoor concert is considered an outdoor adventure, well at least I think so. An adventure is any type of outing or life event where you can not predict what might happen. And going  alone with a two year old and an infant to a concert is just that. Ogden, is a cool town where every Monday there is a free outdoor film, every Wednesday there is a free concert, and at the nearby ski area there is a free concert on Sundays.  D, my husband, works afternoons and evenings so unless it is one of his rare nights off I take the kids on my own.  On a few occasions I have brought a friend along.  However Ogden is a small enough town I find someone to share a blanket with. I am forever grateful for these friends that help me keep an eye on my child.

 

I pack up snacks, drinks, a blanket, and either the stroller or wagon and head out to the Ogden Amphitheater or up to Snowbasin.

 

 

S, my two year old, loves the concerts and runs and dances and explores all over the place.  He enjoys finding kind strangers to plop down next to and eat their snacks.  Most of the time people think it is cute and love to share with him. I don't know how I feel about this.  I love how much he trusts others and feels the world is a safe place and I want that so much to be what it is for him. But as a mother and a wise woman I know that this is not always true.  Soon he will have to learn about "stranger danger" and he will loose a piece of himself. However, I feel that he has a very keen sense of those he can trust and those he should avoid.  He can sense their energy and auras.

 

There is a playground adjacent to the amphitheater and on movie and concert night it is full of children.  S has such a great time and makes friends very quickly. It brings me joy to see him frolic around with new kids and to see how friendly and helpful other parents are to help.

 

There is also a concession  stand at the amphitheater and I have chosen this as a place where he can learn a little bit about money. I have him pay for his popcorn and he thinks that is the most magical part of the evening. He gives the nice teen girl a green piece of paper and she gives him a hot bag of one of his favorite treat.

 

At the Snowbasin concerts its harder to keep tabs on him. We spent many days there in the winter and he knows his way around the base area. One day I grabbed him just in time before he got on the gondola and whisked away to the top of the mountain. He was able to make it under the gates and past the security and ticket checkers. It is super difficult to keep up with him because he is so fast and also small so he can get through spaces and under things that I can not. Also I am chasing him with his little brother slung around my chest. Another time he made it into the lodge and a friend of mine located him as he was pushing the elevator buttons to head downstairs. Aghhh! Teaching boundaries is such a challenge especially when I really feel its important to instill a sense of wonder and exploration. 

 

On movie night, S, actually stays put in one spot! He loves watching on the big screen and he shouts out "oh no" when things are not going so well for the characters.  His other things he loves to say during movies are . "They ok?"  "Agua" "It raining"  and so on.  He gets very involved in the plot and likes to cuddle up and eat pop corn.

 

As the summer has evolved and the more concerts and movies we have been to the easier it has gotten. I am sure because I have learned what to expect and what is necessary to pack. But, also I have noticed that S has a lengthening attention span.  The first concert we went to he could not hold still for 2 minutes and he had to be up and running around and in everyone's business.  And now he will sit at the blanket and eat his snacks, dance with me a bit, play with his trucks, blow a few bubbles, and then run off.  I can keep him at home base now for about 45 minutes!  That is a huge step for all of us. 

 

 

 



I think I lost it....

On May 31^st, when we discovered that half of our family’s camping gear, which was in a roof bag, fell silently off of the rack on top of our car and disappeared into the black top of Interstate 15, I fell more in love with D, my husband.  It took about an hour of refraining from screaming at him or blaming him, before this discovery was made. But as I watched as he calmly drove back and tried to find our lost things and then being able to discuss what happened and learning from both of our mistakes, I learned from his example that freaking out wouldn’t help the situation.   I think most men would scream and swear and be upset.  My guy just smiled and said it was gone. We discussed what went wrong and instead of getting too immersed in the blame game we learned what each of us could do better next time. I was relieved that the giant bag didn’t hit another vehicle and cause an accident. I stayed positive and encouraged knowing that my children and my husband were safe and by my side.  I was so bummed about losing gear that I had worked so hard to acquire, but hey, it’s just gear.

So that is how we started out our first camping trip of the summer and the first ever camping trip with two children; losing our gear storage bag that contained, a borrowed family tent, 2 sleeping bags, 3 sleeping pads, 2 camp chairs, an easy-up shade structure, a stroller, a roll up camping table, and some stove fuel. But, at that point I was not going to give up on this camping trip. It took way too much effort to prepare for and honesty, I was too lazy to unpack all the food and other items out of the car. We went to our favorite gear shop and bought a few things that needed replacing, left everything else loaded in the car and set out again the next morning. 

City of Rocks has been one of our favorite destinations pre-children.  We have mainly gone there to go rock climbing but my body is not in rock climbing shape and it’s hard to watch an adventurous toddler while breast feeding an infant, and belaying. Not to mention us-safe. So the rock climbing was going to be left to D if he could find people to climb with. His friends backed out of the trip the day before.

Our drive on rural roads was fun for all. S, especially liked driving through the herds of cattle on dirt roads and waving at the cowboys and cowgirls astride their horses. I was amazed that he didn’t sleep a wink on the two and a half hour journey.  We had made advanced reservation for our camping spot and good thing we had. The popular reserve was full for the weekend. Our site was at the far end of the park and was a perfect place for a toddler.  No traffic, small boulders to play on, a grassy area, a picnic table, a nearby outhouse, and spread out from other campers.  We set up camp, since we lost the large tent we had borrowed we had now brought a long two small backpacking tents from our single days.  S and D set up in one, and the baby, R, and I in the other. Within minutes of S exploring our camp site he had brushed up against a prickly pear cactus.  The spines went through his jeans and imbedded into his soft skin.  Good thing he is such a grateful little boy.  As we held him down and pulled out the spines he would say “thank you” with each thorn removed.

 Once camp was set up and we made a hot lunch we drove back into the heart of the park to an area called Parking Lot Rock. We went for a small walk with my husband carrying the baby in the front carrier and I with S on the back carrier.  It was a lot of fun and I was impressed with my son’s observation skills.  He spotted a Downy Wood Pecker right at his eye level, we enjoyed watching the bird pound little holes into an Aspen tree.  D, with his always present friendly disposition, found some folks to climb with.  The kids and I went back to the car, found a shady tree to park under and took a nap. 

When we were reunited with D, we went to the nearby hotsprings and had a wonderful time splashing and soaking in the four cemented pools. S ran himself tired between the pools and made friends with some older children who played ball with him.  When we returned to our campsite we discovered we were camping nearby two other families with very young children.  As we chatted with each other we realized that the men of the group and I worked at the same location about 7 years ago. We had been slightly acquainted at the time and it was fun catching up and meeting their wives. We hung out at their camp, cooked over the fire, and the children played in the dirt.

Oh how the stars shined and there was no light pollution or clouds to block out the brilliance. It was so good for my soul to be out under an unobstructed sky.  It is necessary for all of us to connect to the heavens like that on a frequent basis.

In the morning we joined up with our new found friends. We spent all morning and early afternoon with them.  We hung out at an area called Bathtub rock.  Mostly the fathers and an occasional mother climbed and took turns leading and belaying traditional and sport routes.  The mothers and children sat in a grassy area where we shared snacks, watched the children play and explore the area.  As the morning progressed other groups of young families came up the trail with children in carry packs, their dogs on leashes, and toys of all sorts to keep the children occupied. We seamlessly and naturally set up an impromptu summer camp.  Children sat with one father on a climbing crash pad and colored paper and themselves with markers.  Other kids blew bubbles and another group made pb&j sandwiches.  There were squirt guns, dump trucks, balls, all to share. Oh what an inspirational and refreshing trip to meet other outdoor mammas and their amazing families.

On our drive home nothing flew off the roof and we reveled in the thought that a weekend that could have turned into a complete disaster ended up being just what we needed to discover that we were not alone in this quest of trying to continue an outdoor lifestyle with young children.

What else was cool is that a day or two after we got home I was named "Outdoor Gangster" of the Month of May. Check it out. You might have to scroll down a bit in their blog. http://www.outdoorgangster.com/blog/

Bring down the walls.

Yesterday, my kids babysitter, reminded me of a very wise idea.  "If the children are climbing the walls, take away the walls!"  Brilliant. I love it.  I am very thankful for that little phrase. I will hold onto it in my mind and remember to live by it this summer.

I wanted to list some things that I have learned about making it easier to get my children, namely my toddler, out on a short trip into nature.

• Have an  "outdoor explorer" bag ready. If my child suggests to go on a hike or he is in a pleasant mood, I may just loose my window of opportunity while I gather what is needed.  I have learned that you need a lot less stuff then you think. Also keep an "outdoor explorer" bag in your car, if you are driving around on errands and you see a great place to explore you will be ready.  For just a short outdoor adventure nearby, all you need is.
• one diaper and a couple of wipes. (or TP if toddler is potty trained)
• a few band aids.
• tissues.
• a water bottle.
• sunscreen/bug dope.
• a snack (a must-a toddler with low blood sugar is worse then a pillowcase of feral cats.)
• sunhat/or beanie depending on the weather.
• a magnifying glass to look at little treasures is a nice extra to have.
• Have a list of  nearby places to explore written down.  When it is time to hit the trail you don't want Mommy brain to set in and the only place you can remember how to get to is McDonald's or Walmart.
• Who cares if your kid gets dirty.  My child has a few "nice" outfits that I don't want ruined but for the most part he doesn't get into much that my washing machine can't get out.  I also have been known to strip him down to just a diaper.  He can wade, puddle jump, or paint with mud and I don't have to worry. Then I can just hose him off in the kiddie pool when we get home.
• An outdoor buddy. It is a good idea to have a friend to come a long with you every once in a while. Also if you have an outdoor play date set up or even a friend with out children that will be joining you it is a lot harder to back out. 
• Be curious yourself.  Remember your toddler is experiencing the world for the first time and he may notice something you have been walking by.  Get excited with him when he makes new discoveries or learns a new word or concept.

This Way

As I have written before, I am concerned that I am failing my toddler, S, by not getting him in the outdoors enough.  This afternoon, after I returned from work and he woke up from a nap, he requested to watch Lion King. He is so cute when he asks at first. With his sweet smile and bright eyes , he politely says " Watch King, please." I so want to say yes, but it would be at least the 9th time he has seen it this week and it is only Wednesday. I suggest we play outside or go to the park. The screaming begins. "NO WAY." He jumps to the far end of the sofa and covers himself with a pillow and shouts, "King!" Again  I brightly suggest we go in the car, he loves to "Go, car." But that suggestion brings on the hitting.

Ugh my sweet child! We have started using a time out chair for the first time today. The hitting has gotten out of hand, I have to physically hold him down on the chair and repeat what the doctor said yesterday. "No Hit. Time Out." She said that it has to be very clear to his developing mind why he is being punished,  no extra words or explanation. At this time she suggests he only go into time out for hurting others, this way he can learn that this is a very serious matter. His cute face twists into an expression I hate to see.  It is not my child.  Tears rolling down his face, lips curled up, eyes squinty, and a piercing scream.  After  two minutes of  this, his time out is up.  When I lift him up off the chair he wraps his arms around my neck, kisses me and says "Thank you Momma." Three minutes later he is back in the time out chair for throwing his sippy cup at my face. As I hold him on the chair and fight back my own tears, I think  "is getting out of the house really worth all of this?"

After two more time outs, a granola bar, a cup of milk, a cuddle, a lullaby, a diaper change, and a story; S is ready to go. His 2 month old brother, R, has been asleep this whole time. I have to quickly breast feed him and then we can load up the car.  I am so grateful that I live in an area where getting outdoors is simple.  In just a five minute drive we are at the paved river walk trail. That is a big enough adventure for us today. S waits patiently in his stroller by the side of the car as I load  R into the infant sling. With a shriek of delight and a point of a finger upward S calls out "Tree...Bird." A smile fills my heart. Yes!  I have not failed him.

As we begin our walk S greets his surroundings. "Hi, wah wah" is called to the river. "Hi, bird" is directed to a robin hopping around on the ground. And of course he says hello to every person or pet we see. He decides he wants to get out of his stroller and push it himself.  We walk at a toddler pace. Stopping to touch leaves and mushrooms.  Along the trail S climbs up on the park benches that look over the river he sits for a moment and looks contemplatively at the running water. He pops up quickly and continues along the trail with a shout of a new phrase, "this way." Oh what a happy phrase that is after  hearing "no way" all afternoon.

S runs up on a head and waits for R and I to catch up. He has a look of freedom and joy on his face as he runs down a small hill calling out "fun Momma!-this way."

Force of Nature

Today I said out loud to the living room ," This house looks like it was hit with a tornado." After the words left my mouth I instantly go a knot in my stomach.  The pictures of devastation that I had been seeing throughout the day came quickly into my mind. A portion of Oklahoma was literally turned upside down. Mommy's and Daddy's desperately trying to reach their children. Praying that the bravery of school teachers and strangers would bring their babies out of the ruble. I only had one of my senses involved in this mayhem, my sight.  But the people involved in the disaster must have been on sensory over load. The smell of melting plastic and the pains of smoke and dust burning their lungs. Can you imagine the way it feels to  have your sacred family albums crumbling in your hands?  Or hearing the walls, that separate you from the worlds daily chaos, just crashing down around you, on top of you?   The reality of those people loosing everything they had makes my complaint seem a bit ridicules.

I had cushions from two sofas thrown about the house, tiny piles of sandbox sand brought in from shoes on the burgundy carpet, cracker crumbs and some sort of sticky stuff on the coffee table, painting supplies on top of the TV, and other toddler and husband messes, but at least I had walls.  At least I knew where the little monster who created the upheaval was, at least I have a vacuum cleaner and Windex to clean up (or to not clean up.) My water taps work and I have chocolate ice cream in my freezer.

It is sad that someone else's tragedy bounces the rest of us back into a sense of gratitude and abundance.  I am praying for the people who are suffering today, as well as rejoicing for the crazy day to day journey that I am on.

I haven't made it out on a big outdoor adventure with my kids today. Taking them both to their well child/baby checkups was enough of living on the wild side for me.  Our quest started with me literally praying for a decent parking spot.  I knew that a trek across the asphalt wilderness while carrying a diaper bag and a purse in one hand, a 2 month old in a baby carrier in the other hand, and keeping my toddler out of traffic with my third, non-existent hand, might just kill me.  As I pulled into the parking lot, a beam of light shown from the heavens and  was directing me into the fourth parking space away from the door.  Hallelujah! Our pediatrician is the most amazing doc you could ask for but her office is located in a huge nationally ranked hospital and often one is better off taking the bus to appointments because at least you get dropped off closer to the door then when you have to park 3 foot ball fields away.

 I wont get into all the epic details, but I thought that having both children's appointment at the same time would make things easier.  No, not true. It wasn't easier but I think it was worth it. I feel like the doctor really got a nice look on how things actually go down in our family and she was able to give sound advice and encouragement.  Although my children are very, very young I feel that there was some brotherly bonding today.  Some empathy, as well as some humor was shared between the two of them. It was yet another lesson for me that the easiest way is not always the best.  But one can always be more efficient and save up that much needed momma energy. I am glad that I was smart enough to put their medical cards in the outside pocket of my purse, bring a snack for my toddler, have a coca-cola for me, have extra clothes for both children, and to write down questions I had for the pediatrician. Those things made it just a wee bit smoother.

Tonight, as my children sleep and I put the sofa cushions back, I say a little prayer of comfort to those who suffer in Oklahoma and a big prayer of gratitude for my messy home.

Tomorrow I have an outdoor activity planned.  Stay tuned.

May you too feel that your life is full of abundance, Shawnee

What this blog is about.

Here I am; A woman with a college degree in Adventure Recreation, 16 years of ski teaching behind me, over a dozen countries visited, multiple summers spent living in a tent, countless hours teaching nature education to children and adults,  many trails hiked, several hot springs soaked in,  and frozen waterfalls climbed. Here I am with a toddler and a new born and wondering "What in the hell am I doing?"  I often feel at a complete loss on what to do with my spare time with my babies. 

 I have been asking myself if I am turning into the type of mother I thought I never would be.  Watching more Disney then going exploring and staying in the safe limits of our fenced yard is not what I expected to be doing.  I pictured myself as a mom hauling my kids up mountains, strolling on the trails, watching bugs with magnifying glasses, and singing silly camp songs. Just like my mom and dad did with me.  I was shocked at myself last week when I  had some spare time, and instead of a jaunt in nature I took my toddler to MacDonald's for a happy meal and play time on a plastic , germ infested play land! 

Why is loading up a diaper bag, a lunch, changes of clothes, jackets, bug spray, sunscreen, bottles, a breast pump, a baby sling, a stroller, a backpack carrier, car seats, burp rags, and blankets such a challenge?  One needs more gear than that to go ice climbing.   I am overwhelmed with "getting out there."  And as I am writing right now I am laughing at myself at how silly I have been.  Yes, my oldest is in his "terrible two's" and I just gave birth via c-section 2 months ago.. but come on Shawnee you have done tougher things then this...haven't you?  I suppose it's not just loading up all the gear and being responsable for it but what do you do with the crying baby and climbing toddler while all the prep is going on and how much time is it going to take?

I have been having a bit of the blues lately and I think it is due to not being my outdoorsy self. Not being authentic to my life goals and path is really what it is about. Over the past three years my sense of adventure has dwindled down to a very low level. I haven't given up completely and I should be proud of myself for doing the basic things I love.   I have been teaching skiing in the winters, in fact, I skied two seasons up into my 8th month of pregnancy.  I took my first born camping a few times and to music festivals and on trips on the airplane. And on many outdoor day trips in our area. But now with two children I feel like the effort is not worth the reward, although I KNOW that this is not true. My lack of energy makes it feel that way.  So I need to make some big changes in my current state of mind and get back on track with the things that I truly value.

My challenge to myself is to find new ways to explore the great outdoors in the most  energy efficient and sustainable ways as well as the most baby and mama friendly ways as possible.  I need to celebrate the little victories of crossing the street to the park as well as the big ones like taking a family camping trip. 

So I decided to start a blog about this journey.  I hope those who read this will help keep me accountable in my goal of sharing my passion with nature with my own children and not just the children and adults that I see in my outdoor education job. Also, I hope to inspire you and others to do the same with your children. I will post what I discover works well to get a temper tantrum throwing toddler to transform into a nature loving explorer. Now that is  going to be a true adventure.

Much Love, Shawnee